interviews are about connecting.
There’s a little something most people miss when prepping for their upcoming interviews.
When I work with clients on getting ready for their hiring processes, they often have similar questions:
How do I explain this gap in my resume? How long should I speak when replying to a question? How do I highlight my impact?
So we work through them and make sure they feel more confident and reassured in their answers.
But there’s something else I always bring up in our sessions, something that, as a former recruiter, I’d say is just as important (if not more).
And it’s the perspective you bring into an interview. Here are the basics I work with:
Recruiters actually want you to do well. They’re not looking for reasons to reject you. If anything, a “no” makes their job harder.
An interview is really just a conversation. And it’s all about connecting with the person in front of you. If that’s your expectation going in, you’re more likely to focus on the right bits to share.
Your role is to help people see why you’re a good match (or realize you’re not, which is tough, but just as important). Be helpful by connecting the dots for them and using language they can use to advocate for you.
It’s not about being perfect. Hiring managers often learn more from how you stumble and recover than from a “too-good-to-be-true” answer.
There’s a good chance the person interviewing you is a little nervous too. Interviews can be awkward for everyone involved. So don’t expect the other person to make you feel comfortable from minute one.
And lastly, people often remember how it felt to talk to you more than the exact words you said. Genuine enthusiasm and curiosity can make all the difference.
Especially in the early stages, interviews are often more about how you show up than the content of your answers (though yes, please keep them structured, concise, and focused on your impact).
And I get it, after so many interviews, and so much unsolicited advice, we’re all exhausted.
But this perspective is a much more sustainable approach than holding on to a “me vs. them” mindset.
Seeing interviews more like a collab makes any hiccups, and even a rejection, easier to understand and move on from.
about the author:
Hi there! I'm Silja, the founder of the wholesome growth club, an inclusive hub for career coaching with a soft spot for introverts and perfectionists. I’m an Amsterdam-based expat, but I love connecting with people worldwide. With a background in recruiting, I know the struggle of crafting a career path that feels truly yours. At the wholesome growth club, we're all about fostering sustainable growth, meaningful engagement, and authentic connections. Our blog is dedicated to making coaching accessible and sharing insights to approach work and life with an extra dose of confidence, slow productivity, and self-compassion. If you are curious to make things happen for yourself, get in touch—we offer personalized coaching journeys that will get you closer to your (dreamy) goals in no time.
